I Hate Having My Photo Taken. Here's What Finally Changed That Issue.

A while back I did a portrait session for a family I knew well. The mom had been wanting photos for a while, her daughter was coming home for the holidays, and the timing finally felt right. When I arrived, I could tell pretty quickly that while everyone was there and ready, one member of the family was, perhaps, less enthusiastic about the whole thing than the others. Nothing dramatic, just a quiet hesitancy that told me pictures probably weren't his favorite way to spend an afternoon.

I've seen that look before, as have most photographers. It's the look that says: I'm here because I love my family, but let's please make this as painless as possible. So that became my entire focus. Not the lighting, not the composition, not the technical side of things, just making this feel as easy and low pressure as I possibly could.

We finished in about 45 to 60 minutes. As we wrapped up, I watched something shift. The hesitancy was gone. In its place was something closer to relief, and maybe even a quiet satisfaction. I looked at him and said "see, that wasn't even as painful as a trip to the dentist." He laughed. It was true. That moment stuck with me for a long time afterward.

What I took away from that afternoon

Experiences like that one have shaped the way I approach every session I do, including headshots. A few specific things became clear to me that day that I now carry into every single client interaction.

The first is that reading the room is everything. Every person who walks through the door is carrying something with them, excitement, nerves, reluctance, self consciousness, a long to-do list they'd rather be working on. My job before I ever pick up a camera is to pay close attention to where that person actually is and adjust my approach accordingly. There's no single script that works for everyone. The best sessions happen when the photographer is paying as much attention to the person as to the camera settings.

The second thing is that anxiety about time is real and it's worth taking seriously. That family dad wasn't dreading the photos themselves as much as he was dreading the idea of a long, drawn out process that consumed his whole afternoon. When it was over in under an hour, he was genuinely surprised. That surprise is something I now try to eliminate upfront by being clear about timing from the very beginning. Nobody should walk into a session wondering how long they're going to be there.

What this means for your headshot session

If you're the kind of person who would rather skip the whole thing, but knows it needs to be done, I want you to know that I see you. I've photographed plenty of people who felt exactly the same way walking in and felt completely differently walking out. This was not because I said the right things or used the right lighting. It was because I paid attention, adjusted to where they were, and made the whole thing feel manageable rather than like a production.

The camera shy professional is actually who I do my best work with, because when someone comes in with low expectations and leaves genuinely pleased, that's when this job feels exactly like what it's supposed to be.

If that sounds like you, you might be surprised by what a single session can do.

Dan Wehrle is a headshot and portrait photographer based in San Jose, serving professionals across Silicon Valley and the South Bay. Ready to find out for yourself? Get in touch here.